Being a good working devotee with Perfection and preparing to go back to Krishna, only two things are required:

(1) Detachment with material things and relations MENTALLY, not physically.

(2) Total surrender to Krishna and seeing Krishna everywhere and everything.

The dress codes, symbols, etc can help to have a BHAVA Spiritual mindset and dedication to follow devotion. Nothing else.

Mental sanyasa is important and Primary.  Physical sanyasa will automatically follow.

Detachment with material things means, not going away from material things and relations.  It is impossible.  Wherever you go, you have to be with the materials only.  Similarly, wherever you go, you will have to meet the opposite sex. Though you become a sanyasi, you will have to use the materials and guide the materialistic people.

Therefore, you should be with the materials and relations, but, should not consider them as your eternal associates.

Your body should be with the materials and people.  You (soul) should be situated with Krishna.

This is called material detachment and attachment with Krishna.

That is why, I have been writing everywhere that only mental sanyasa is important and recommended for this kaliyuga.

And, it is said that the grahasthas should support and protect the sanyasis.  That means, grahasthas should be there even to support the sanyasis.  If you remain a grahastha and support the sanyasis, you too will get all the blessings received by those sanyasis.

If job going devotees are inferior, no one can be a perfect devotee.  Because, everyone is going to some jobs or doing some business.

Even the creator Krishna is working!  He is managing all His creations!

If you have mental sanyasa, you can go to any job and also remain a sincere devotee.

Being a mental sanyasi as well as a devotee is possible.  Just keep the following in mind:

(i) Go to the job, but, do not develop pride and keep it in mind that the job is the blessing from Krishna.

(ii) Earn, but do not get addicted to money and do not think that money is all for you. To show your detachment with money, spend a portion of your earning for temples and suffering devotees and even to the needy persons.

(iii) Be with the people, but do not consider them as your eternal associates.  They are your relations for your present body only.  Only Krishna is your eternal relation because you are actually soul and Krishna is the Supersoul.  This is the real relationship.

(v) Instal Krishna in your heart strongly and you should remember and see Krishna whenever you see anything or anyone. Treat that there is nothing separate from Krishna.

(vi) Do not be partial to anyone or do not ill treat anyone, since every living being is the part of Krishna.  Krishna is there in them also.

(vii) The relatives in this birth are given by Krishna.  Therefore, do not hate anyone.  Instead, love them as the arrangement of Krishna.  At the same time, do not forget that Krishna is the real relation and these relatives are just temporary.

(viii) Since this kaliyuga will always be giving diversions and disturbances to us, keep chanting Hare Krishna all the time.  Always utter the names of Krishna while performing your job.  Just keep Krishna all the time in your mind and keep working.

If you develop your mindset like this and perform all the duties just like an instrument in the hands of Krishna, being a good working devotee is not difficult.

Who said that a girl does not have the responsibility to protect her parents?  If there is no son, she has to take care of them. When you get married, discuss with your “would be” that you have the responsibility of taking care of your parents and hence keep your parents in a house next or near to your house and take care of them.